Sunday, March 15, 2009

Ask Dr Bob (#3)

A reader writes: A friend of mine said I could be nailed by the USTAF for drinking Brigham Tea. It's just an energizing tea I buy in my local health food store. I say he's the one who's high for thinking I can be nailed for tea from a health food store.

Drugs, Sex, and Rock 0' Roll

Dear DSRR,

You can't get no satisfaction from me.

Your pal's right. I hope you didn't have a big bet riding on this one. Brigham Tea contains Ma Huang, which is Chinese Ephedra. It is a natural source of Ephedrine. If you drink that stuff before a USTAF event and you are a USTAF member, you can be subjected to a random drug test. It is not just my imagination getting in the way. The Ephedrine will show up on the test and put you in the banned in Boston. (and everywhere else) ranks along with Mary Decker- Tabb-etc-Slaney. While you're riding out your suspension in the Penalty Box, maybe you can meet her. She must be due for another hubby soon. Then she could become Mary-etc-Drugs, Sex and Rock '0 Roll. One consolation will be you be having fun, fun, fun after the USTAF takes your T-card away.

Ephedrine is not only illegal in organized running, it is also dangerous. Several heart failure deaths in the Boston-metro area have been attributed to Ma Huang in recent years. Now that's a stairway to heaven! Ma Huang is also the main ingredient in Mormons Tea,. Miners Tea, Bishops Tea, Teamster Tea, (so that's how they got rid of Jimmy Hoffa), and Squaw Tea. Similar (and also banned), substances are found in over the counter cold preparations. Some examples are Actifed, Drixoral, Dimetapp, Cantac, Allerest, Vicks Inhaler, and the beat goes on! Read labels! Phenylephrine, Phenylpropanolamine, Psuedoephedrine, Propylhexedrine, and Desoxyephedrine will all have you doing the Jailhouse rock. So, if your cold preparation contains any of these, you will be left out in the cold by the USTAF. You don't have to be on Cloud 9 to get banned from the long and winding road. Choosing a cold preparation you can use will be like stepping on eggs ... but its far better than UST AF getting into regulating Steppenwolf. Please don't ban my devil with the blue dress on. For if they start to regulate sex and rock 'n roll, we'll all become drifters from the sport.

Dr Bob (and the medicine show)

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